After a very long day, I was relieved to finally get to my hotel room. Exhausted, I went straight to the bathroom, washed my hands and face, took off my shoes, changed into shorts and proceeded to eat a very large, juicy hamburger. With bacon. And cheese. Melted. I don’t eat this way very often, but I had been good all week and every once in a while comfort food is a necessity. The smell of that burger after 5 hours of travel and nothing to eat or drink but peanuts and bottled water on the airplane was enough to conjure up visions of a Thanksgiving Day feast. I picked it up and took my first bite. Fantastic. After I finished, I sat in the chair, put on ESPN and began to drift. It was right about then that I ran to the bathroom very nauseated.
No, the beef was cooked. The cheese didn’t smell. Hell, even the bacon was awesome.
What happened is while I sat back and replayed the days events, my thoughts traveled to the airport. How I had to run to catch a flight. How, after running that hard only to find that we were delayed, I realized I had time to do something I needed to do two terminals ago. I had to use the men’s room. And now I had time. And that while in the men’s room, I was once again reminded about a very important question that has always haunted me.
Namely, why do guys have bad aim?
Honestly, is it just me or has anyone else noted that whenever you stand next to a urinal to complete your business that there is always a puddle on the floor? And I am not talking about only at the one set lower than the rest to make sure kids don’t make a mess. I’m talking about the grown up ones. Seriously, do we all have bad aim? How hard can it be? I mean, it’s not we are all kids at home when we would stand back and see how far you can be and still get the full stream in. These are grown men. In public. And most of us actually stand pretty close to the urinal out of that feeling that the next guy is looking over at you. Or it. But, of course, not too close where it splatters back at you. No, just close enough.
So why do so many people miss? It is plain nasty.
But you know what happens later? All of us would admit that we wash our hands after we finish in the men’s room. Especially public restrooms. But how many of us wash our hands after taking off our shoes? Honestly?? Not me. Not as a matter of habit. And certainly not after getting to the hotel room, cleaning up and THEN getting undressed for my room service delicacy.
So, for all you travelers out there, take heed. Make sure that after you take off your shoes – which remember touch the ground everywhere you have been – including bathrooms where everyone has the aim of a blind man trying to shoot clay pigeons – here is some advice. Wash your hands before you grab your hamburger.
Because when you think about it, taking off your shoes can be nasty.
1Do3Ds